the acoustic version

i can't believe that more than a whole year has passed since i started this blog.  i have changed so much, and for the better, to boot.  thank you all for coming on this whirlwind of an endeavor with me.

as you might have noticed, i've said nothing about this perpetually-stalled "novel" of mine aside from last week's update.  isn't it the great joke that would-be writers tow around the idea of their raison d'etre without ever having written a word of it.  it's a weight i'm dropping for now.  if you would like to talk to me about the general plot or read a few of the existing paragraphs, send an email to az.cinquantacinquanta[at]gmail[dot]com.

and now, the summation of lessons learned.

 

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the way i see it, life has its way of cleaving two paths - to live life with a healthy amount of doubt but keep pressing forward, or to succumb to the thoughts in your head.  here are the battles i'm fighting.

reality vs. expectation:  many of us would like to bottle willpower and uncork as needed.  it's becoming clear to me that life and friendships don't work that way.  all that you can do is prepare yourself for the softballs being lunged at you and adjust your swing.  your reaction is within your control, not anyone else's.  be sure that you do all you can to make peace and own your shit, but accept that you cannot make anyone do the same.

high self standards vs self criticism:  there is a super fine line here.  i'm continually working to be more understanding and nonjudgmental of myself.  i am a strong, tenacious, and loving person who wants to genuinely do the right thing for myself and others.

 

journey vs sprint:  patience isn't my virtue. i like results and my changes to be immediate.  i like to check the boxes off on my bucket list ASAP.  i want to travel everywhere, all at once.  i like to repair my relationships in one fell swoop of a sincere apology.  it doesn't work like that and i am learning to respect the now.  i am ready to be continuously moving on. 

 

focus vs obsession:  look at the world with soft eyes and you see all of it.  don't miss the forest for the trees.  details matter sometimes, but not so much that you lose the plot.

 

self-improvement vs "see what sticks":  foraying into projects that i thought would round me out as a person just didn't give me the bump i expected.  still, there's no harm in trying new hobbies and staying busy.  you never know what you'll have learned to love along the way.

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so, dear readers, this is it for year one.  i've done a lot of good and learned a lot about myself and life along the way.  in the future, i plan to write for this blog as frequently as i'm inclined.  whether it's sharing lessons that crop up or the food that i'm making, i know that it makes quite a few people happy to tag along with me here on the internet.

in closing, for now - i love you all. be good to yourselves and those you love.  be honest with yourself and others, and don't be afraid to feel the full gamut of emotions. your life will be made so much richer when you are truly yourself and not the image of who you think you should be.

 

xo ann

 

// sebastien gabriel